Expectations and realities are often different. I expected my shaved head to feel smooth and silky. Instead, it feels more like Velcro. It sticks to my shirt and pillowcase. A friend, who is a cancer survivor, suggested that I get a satin pillowcase, which is what she did when she lost her hair. I did not expect to keep reaching to ring out my hair when I got out of the shower or to move it out of my eyes when I was reading. So many behaviors are habits without thought.

Cikd wind of winter
Sweeping leaves from the walkway
Winds blow away though

I expected smooth
Sore back, aching thighs - choki
Finding nirvana

Warmer and sunny
Zazen, Samu, Tokudo
Walking in the rain

I am humbled and grateful for the opportunity to walk this path of Soto Zen and to have experienced Tokudo.

Tokudo means attaining salvatio/nirvana (no wind of karma): May all attain nirvana/awakening to be saved from a long night of nescience (no witness of nirvana)! — Rosan Daido

This journey has been one of humility, learning, and inner transformation. I honor my teachers, whose wisdom and compassion have guided me, and the sangha, whose presence reminds me of our shared connection. This path continually inspires me to live with greater mindfulness, compassion, and service to all beings. My heart is filled with gratitude for the unfolding of this sacred journey.

I took sixteen vows to honor the profound path of awakening and to embody the timeless wisdom of the Triple Treasures: Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha. These precepts guide my heart and help me align my actions with compassion and dedicate my life to the benefit of all beings. Through the Three Pure Precepts and the Ten Great Precepts, I vow to cultivate mindfulness, integrity, and selflessness, aspiring to live a life that reflects the teachings of the Buddhas and Ancestors and contributes to the harmony and well-being of the world.

The Triple Treasures

From generation to generation, all Buddhas and Ancestors have deeply respected and transmitted the Triple Treasures:
Buddha,
Dharma
Sangha

The Three Collective Pure Precepts

With purity of heart, vowing to abstain from the unwholesome.
With purity of heart, vowing to do the wholesome.
With purity of heart, vowing to benefit all beings.

The Ten Great Precepts

A disciple of the Buddha abstains from the willful taking of life.
A disciple of the Buddha abstains from stealing.
A disciple of the Buddha abstains from indulging in sexual greed.
A disciple of the Buddha abstains from telling lies.
A disciple of the Buddha abstains from indulging in harmful intoxicants.
A disciple of the Buddha abstains from speaking ill of others.
A disciple of the Buddha abstains from extolling the self while slandering others.
A disciple of the Buddha abstains from being avaricious in the bestowal of teachings or materials.
A disciple of the Buddha abstains from the harboring of hatred, malice or ill-will.
A disciple of the Buddha abstains from denouncing the Triple Treasure.

Heart Sutra
 The Venerable Avalokiteshvara Bodhisattva,  
when carryʼng out the profound Prajnaparamita career, 
penetrated through the five aggregates and saw that they are Shunya in their nature.  

Here, Shariputra, Form is Shunyata; Shunyata is Form. 
Form does not differ from Shunyata; 
Shunyata does not differ from Form. 
That which is Form is Shunyata;
that which is Shunyata is Form. 

The very same applies to feeling, idea, formations and consciousness. 
Here Shariputra, all Dharmas are marked with Shunyata; 
Neither originated nor destroyed; 
neither defiled nor undefiled; 
neither decreased nor increased. 

Therefore, Shariputra, in Shunyata, no form, no feeling, no idea, no formation, no consciousness; 
no eyes, ears, nose, tongue, body, mind; no form, sound, smell, taste, touch, mind-object; 
no eye-realm and so forth until no mind-consciousness-realm; 
no nescience, no extinction of nescience, 
and so forth until no old age and death; 
no extinction of old age and death; 
no suffering, origination, cessation, path; no knowledge, no grasping. 

Therefore, in no grasping one lives in no mind-hindrance, relying on the Prajnaparamita of Bodhisattvas, 
because there is no mind hindrance and no fear, one settles in Nirvana, transcending the perverted views. 

All the Buddhas residing in the three times are awakened to the unsurpassed right Awakening, relying on the  Prajnaparamita. 

Therefore, know the Prajnaparamita, the Great Mantra, the Great Wisdom Mantra, the Unsurpassed Mantra, the Peerless Mantra, 
which brings cessation of all sufferings; 
which is true, as it is not false. 

The Mantra in the Prajnaparamita is uttered thus: Gate  •  Gate Para-Gate  •  Para-Sam-Gate Bodhi Svaha. 

Thus ends the heart of Prajnaparamita